Profile

If Essalene were the sociable and open type, a high-born lady recording her memories for posterity, or a child giggling and exchanging secrets over sweets and water, she would tell you that she grew up in Feldri, an isolated oasis city that stands alone in the southern desert. She was a girl who ran across the dusty sands and listened to stories from the rare caravans that passed through the lonely city, and old myths and legends from her grandfather with wide, open eyes. Her family were not wealthy, but neither were they poor, her parents loved her and she was content.

The next part might be harder for one to get out of her, but she will say that during that idlylic childhood, there was a somebody, wise and graceful and refined above all else who she liked. Admired. Worshipped. She cherished every moment they spent together, and thought that their time would last eternity, as children do. Then, the day came when that somebody left for the capital, to join the military. There were tears and idle, hopeless promises, and her world was never as bright from then on.

This last part is the hardest to tell, too recent to be embellished, as memories of the past often are. Her family had fallen on difficult times, and it became harder to sustain them all in the harshness of the sand sea. And despite her family's insistence that she stay, she enlisted herself into the military and left her home to fill the ranks of the city guard in Razen. Truth be told, she had grown restless since the somebody of her childhood left for the city of scholars and fountains and high culture, and secretly longed to follow and perhaps even reunite with the love of her past, and thus, on reaching Razen, set her heart on being a good soldier, sending her pay home and better her chances of meeting her somebody again.

The first few months were the hardest she had lived through. It always felt as if there were people snickering at this strange-looking, backward girl from Feldri, and her body, as it was in those first few months, wrenched and tore, but she persisted, because she was too proud to bear the shame of returning home with nothing to show for her efforts. She followed every order she was given, to prove herself reliable, so that none of her superiors criticised her or complained. Then, she will tell you that one day, she recieved a letter from home and that afterwards, she cried herself to sleep every night.

But Essalene is not the type to tell anyone of these things.



PERSONALITY
The Essalene of the present is a cold and serious woman, a good soldier, all business and no pleasantries. There is no question that she is extremely dedicated to her duties. Her dedication to forming friendships or any sort of interaction other than between a superior and subordinate, however, is non-existant. In fact, every relationship she has remains purely functional, and she takes extraordinary measures to keep them from developing further. Some have taken this as arrogance, some have thought her just socially awkward, but it seems most think her almost mindless. Among her peers, she is held in awe, derision, wariness, fear and pity all at once.

The Essalene of the present is a lonely woman, as isolated as the city she hails from. She has shown no one of the person beyond the cold exterior she projects for fear of showing weakness, and the hurt of having loved and lost and regretted. She longs for the feeling of being alone to leave her, yet, she cannot stand the thought of being close to another person, for fear of being hurt again. And ever since that letter from home, she has grown more guarded and withdrawn. All she aims for now is to live through the day. And the next. And the next.



APPEARANCE
Essalene has quite fair skin for an Atsirian, and has never tanned despite spending many days out in the sun, another thing that her peers find facinatingly abnormal. Her hair is light and cropped short, and her eyes are startlingly red. She could be quite pretty if she smiled. Or showed any expression at all.



I am here alone again
In my sweet serenity
Hoping you will ever find me in any place
I will call it solitude when all my songs fade in vain
In my voice, far away to eternity


Essalene is a fictional character played by megaera_inc for himitsu_sensou. Her PB is the appropriate [emo!] yet inappropriate [desert albino!] Ayanami Rei from Neon Genesis Evangelion, and not mine.